You Knew It Was Coming: Midnight Sun Review

Midnight Sun
by Stephenie Meyer

Genre: Young Adult, Romance, Fantasy
Pages:  261 pages

Summary: Midnight Sun is the much anticipated retelling of Twilight from Edward Cullen’s perspective. An unedited partial draft was illegally leaked onto the internet in 2008; consequently, author Stephenie Meyer put the project on indefinite hold.

Shortly afterward, she posted a letter to her fans on her website including a link to the entire partial draft of the book so that those who wanted to read it could do so legally and with her consent; see URL for more information.

BARON REVIEW: My status updates for this book are actually going to be a more extensive and comprehensive look at the problems of this novel than my review itself will be. So stay tuned for the status update highlights if you want some lawls. For the most part, my review will just be a condensed form of everything that I had to say about this book.

If you don’t know the whole story about this little pdf gem, I will take the time now to give you the condensed version. You cannot find this book in a book store (nor, if God be good, will you ever find it) as it hasn’t ever been officially published. S Meyer, the genius that she is, was passing around the unedited manuscript to some friends and it got leaked onto the internet. So butthurt that people would dare read her unedited book online without depositing hundreds of dollars into her bank account, S Meyer officially declared the book to be on a permanent hiatus. But she left the leaked version up for her fans to moan and whine about it never being completed.

So this is where I came in. It’s free, it’s online, I can download it- I will read it.

Let me start off by saying it is better written than Twilight. But yet, it’s also more horrifying in the casual way the book handles Edward’s obvious psychotic decent into madness. His stalking is revisited; not in a way that eases the minds of those who had problems with it before. No, in this perspective we get to watch as Edward carefully plans out these night visits even going so far as to oil the hinges (or is it grease the window frame, I forget) on the window so he can slip in more quietly. Now Twilight really is a stalker handbook.

We find out that Edward had planned to murder an entire classroom full of children just so that he could drink Bella’s blood without getting caught. And throughout this entire reveal, Edward doesn’t concern himself with the fact that he’d be killing an innocent girl, no. He’s more concerned with how he’ll look with red eyes and how his family would react to him. Not the loss of life, not how he’d be uprooting his family, no. It’s all about appearances. This to me, is more horrifying then anything we’ve read thus far.

Red eyes? Ew. Go away, butterface.

It’s pretty tough to beat the baby imprinting. But they might have with that revelation.

Do I like it? Of course not. It’s a Twilight book. I’ve read cereal boxes that are more captivating. But I will say this one was more interesting since we aren’t in the vapid head of Bella Swan. More interesting, and more terrifying but still not enough that I would buy the book if it were ever written.

It’s an obvious ploy that Smeyer tried, in order to relieve the glory of her one-hit wonder. And yes, I’m glad she did the world a favor by not finishing it. It’s a pointless retelling of the same book. Your brain doesn’t get much out of it, (not that it got much out of the first one). And if you are really pining for this book to be published just re-read Twilight. It’s the same thing.

Quality: ★ 1 out of 5
Enjoyment: ★ 1 out of 5
Rereadable: Never again.
Purchase: If you somehow paid for it, you got ripped off, my friend.
Overall: ☹ Bad book

BOOK STATUS HIGHLIGHTS:

• High school.
  Or was purgatory the right word?
  So we discover that Edward is going to high school in order to atone for his sins… Sounds legit. -pg.1
• Lauren Mallory was so jealous that her face, by all rights, should be dark jade in color.
  Lauren finally has a last name! Hurray! -pg.7
• …I bet everyone has asked her that. But I’d like to talk to her. I’ll think of a more original question… Ashley Dowling mused.
  …maybe she’ll be in my Spanish… June Richardson hoped.
  Who the hell are these people? -pg.7
• Where is Alice in this whole picture? Why can’t she not see this near mass homicide in Edward’s future? Why didn’t she warn Edward about Bella? -pg.11
• I knew that he would forgive me for this horrible act that I would do. Because he loved me.
  Nice to know he’ll [Carlisle] forgive you for murdering a classroom of innocent children. But you know who won’t forgive you? The victims’ families. You jackass. -pg.13
• I just love reading all the ways Edward was planning on killing and eating Bella for dinner. -pg.20
• Apparently Edward was laying in meadows long before Bella came along… He’s a pro at this. -pg.25
• Between me and the brilliant lights in the sky, a pair of bewildered chocolate-brown eyes stared back at me…
  Now all I can see is Bella’s floating face in the sky with this expression staring down at him. -pg.27
• Was it just last week that this long, drab room had seemed so killingly dull to me?
  Killingly dull? Really, SMeyer? Did you run out of adjectives? -pg.28
• Edward doesn’t like how Mike sounds possessive over Bella in his thoughts… This coming from the vampire who wanted to kill her and all her classmates only days ago. -pg.31
• “I don’t want to start over. We’re almost out of high school, Emmett. Finally.”
  Or you know… You could have never reenrolled high school in the first place! -pg.34
• I was out of air. If I were going to speak to her again, I would have to inhale.
  I thought you were a vampire that didn’t need to breathe air… -pg.37
• …rather than watch the blood swirl under her clear skin.
  Does Bella have see-through skin? Cause if so… ew. -pg.27
• She was advanced then, intelligent for a human. This did not surprise me.
  Oh trust me. She [Bella] might be able to do one biology lab but intelligent she aint, my friend. -pg.41
• She was selfless.
  Ha! Ha ha! Not even remotely! -pg.44
• And the funny thing is, if Edward COULD read Bella’s thoughts, he would have found her just as uninteresting as any other human. -pg.51
• Oh my god. Alice just deus ex machina-visioned the future meadow scene… was it really that important for a vision? -pg.55
• A word I’d never said before in the presence of a lady slid between my clenched teeth.
  As he never said what the word was, I am forced to assume it was “flubbernugget”. -pg.58
• She had a head injury. It would have been so easy to lie to her. Eventually, she would have believed the lie. -pg.62
• What I’m trying to say is that Edward is an idiot. -pg.62
• “Nobody will believe that, you know.”
  Just ruined your perfectly good defense with six little words. -pg.73
• Nice to see that Edward only saved Bella so that he wouldn’t have to resort to licking her blood off the tarmac. -pg.77
• “I’m going to love her someday, Jazz. I’ll be very put out with you if you don’t let her be.”
  Wait what? Love her? You mean like a friend, right? -pg.85
• Why didn’t anyone think to just turn Bella? I mean, why not? Someone, other than Edward, pop over there- bite her and then take her back with them. That way, sure she’s a vampire but then she’d go down with them if she revealed their secret. Seems reasonable to me. Solves the tastey smell problem. -pg.88
• I was doing everything correctly now. Every “i” dotted, every “t” crossed. No one could complain that I was shirking my responsibilities.
  What does that mean? He’s doing his homework? -pg.90
• The pain was more than anything I’d felt before. A human would have to be on the point of death to feel this pain—a human would not live through it.
  Does Edward ever stop whining? -pg.96
• She stared up into my eyes with the same bewildered expression that had haunted me for so long.
  So apparently Bella’s bewildered look turns Edward on? Does he want to bite that lip too? -pg.97

Her confusion is so attractive…

• I picked the correct answer out of his head while I glanced briefly in his direction.
  So Edward’s not smart at all. He cheated his way through school. -pg.98
• How was I any better than some sick peeping tom? I wasn’t any better. I was much, much worse.
  Go with the feeling, Edward. -pg.107
• Okay, I have a father and sister who sleep talk (and sleep walk). They are never this coherent or romantic. Usually my sister is telling me to milk the bread daisy and my Dad is warning me that all the nets are falling down. -pg.109
• She waited in silence, her teeth pressing into her soft lower lip.
  That sight distracted me for a second. Strange, unfamiliar reactions stirred deep in my forgotten human core.
  He does want to bite that lip. -pg.113
• I will say this, Edward is a better narrator than Bella. But he’s also more psychotic and creepy than Bella which is unsurprisingly a feat unto itself. -pg.116
• Edward is shocked that Bella is clumsy. Wow. Someone was not paying attention through the first hundred pages of this book. -pg.116
• Bella’s worst nemesis, an icy gravel road that she has to walk across… in heels! -pg.116
• She stared for a moment, and then her forehead crumpled and her eyes dropped to the floor.
  Ah! Bella’s face fell apart! -pg.117
• “I think your friends are angry at me for stealing you.”
  This did not appear to concern her. “They’ll survive.”
  Yup. More displays of Bella’s selflessness. -pg.119
• Yes, because you’re not listening to me,” I said, too intense again. “I’m still waiting for you to believe it. If you’re smart, you’ll avoid me.”
  How can Bella avoid you if you keep following her around? Ass hat. -pg.120
• I could feel the warmth of her blush in the air.
  THAT’S ALOT OF BLUSH. -pg.120
  
• “She’s irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she’s a very unpredictable cook. She’s my best friend.” Her voice had turned melancholy; her forehead creased.
  Again, she sounded more like parent than child.
  What about that sounded parent-like? It sounded like a teenager [complaining about her mom] to me. -pg.132
• You know you didn’t have to pick pocket her, Edward. You could have just asked for the keys. She knew you were going to drive her truck home in the first place. I mean, she didn’t expect you to carry it back. -pg.140
• A bottle cap? Is Edward the type of boyfriend that collects everything? From ticket stubs to used tissues? Because… ew.  -pg.148
• Emmett fighting a bear… There are very few words that can describe this. Comical is one. Absurd is another. -pg.149
• …and their bodies fell to the ground tangled up together, taking a mature spruce tree down with them. The bear’s growls cut off with a gurgle. … His shirt was destroyed, torn and bloodied, sticky with sap and covered in fur. He had a huge grin on his face.
  “That was a strong one. I could almost feel it when he clawed me.”
  Wait. Did he fight the bear or make love to it? -pg.150
• I did not see much of Jasper’s guests for the two sunny days that they were in Forks.
  Oh good. Glad they were important enough to mention then. -pg.157
• Otherwise, my existence seemed more like that of a specter than a vampire.
  You only wish you could be as cool as ghost, Edward. -pg.157
• I accidentally uprooted the young spruce tree my hand was resting on when he pinched a strand of her hair between his fingers.
  Rofl. Aw, I feel bad for laughing. Poor tree. What did that tree ever do to you, Edward? -pg.158
• How come no one notices this happening? I mean he just pulled a tree from the ground. -pg.158
• I broke another tree trying to hold myself here.
  Edward. Destroyer of trees. -pg.158
• It must be selfishness that made him blind to others. And Bella was so unselfish, she saw everything.
  Yes. Perfect little dandy-fing-lion Bella Sue Swan is the most unselfish thing since kittens and cotton candy. Gag me. -pg.159
• But I couldn’t ignore the rainbow sparkles that reflected onto her skin when I got closer. Could I be any more of a freak? I imagined her terror if she opened her eyes now…
  Terrifying isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe your sparkles, Edward. -pg.161
• But, being Bella, she would probably put her friends’ enjoyment above that of her own.
  Oh yes. Because every friend loves a gloomy and sullen tag-along on a beach trip. And if she didn’t come they would miss her so much that the whole trip would be ruined! -pg.164
• This love story she envisioned for me was careening toward a tragedy more perceptibly every moment.
  Oh dear god. He’s such a drama queen. Nothing has gone remotely wrong yet! Why are you so intent on being unhappy?! -pg.164
• “You’re pathetic. I can’t believe you missed the game last night just to watch somebody sleep, Emmett grumbled.
  How did Emmett know that? Did Edward tell him? If so, that’s creepy. “BTW Emmett… I can’t watch the game. I’ve got to watch a teeange girl sleep. It’s really important. Can’t miss a single second. She might sigh my name again.” Ah, well maybe Alice spilled the beans. -pg.165
• Esme: What do you see, Alice?
  Alice: It’s Edward. He’s going to Bella’s house. He’s going to stay there all night.
  Emmett: Wahoo! Edward finally got some!
  Alice: No… He’s just watching her.
  Emmett: Watching her?
  Alice: … Yes. While she sleeps.
  Carlisle: Well guys. I’m thinking it’s about time we get Edward some professional help. -pg.165
• The other non-veggie vampires think Edward is going crazy because he’s playing the piano too angry. What would they think if he missed a note? -pg.165
• I think one of the things that really annoys me about these books is how Edward’s thought reading works. Thoughts don’t work this way. There isn’t a scrolling LED display going around in our brains spewing out sentences for Edward to read. Most thoughts are in pictures, feelings and occasionally words. Writing his thought reading process like this is just lazy and uncreative. -pg.167
• Does she really think that? Or does she want me to look like a cow on Saturday?
  Seeing how Bella usually treats people, I’d be betting on the latter. -pg.167
• I searched close by for Angela—ah, but Angela was in the process of changing dresses, and I skipped quickly out of her head to give her some privacy.
  Yes, because I’m sure when she’s changing she’s thinking about all her lady parts. It’s weird when Edward decides to be modest. Don’t eavesdrop on people’s mind conversations when they are changing. But it’s A-OK to watch people sleep. -pg.167
  
  Sense made?
• I stared through Jessica’s eyes first, then switched to Angela’s.
  Woah wait. So apparently Edward can mentally possess people too? Since when was this a component of mind reading? -pg.168
• This didn’t look like the kind of place Bella would be interested in—too new age for a practical person.
  Well, that wasn’t offensive at all. -pg.169
• Honestly he’s not that “powerless” in sunlight. It’s just sparkles. He just doesn’t want people to notice him and discover that he’s secretly a fairy. So that was just a poor choice of words, Meyer. -pg.170
• She’s not brave for standing her ground against a group of gang rapist. She’s a dumb shit. Brave would be grabbing something to beat them with. And it’s not cowardly by running to get help when you’re in obvious danger. Clenching your fists and glaring does not a brave person make. -pg.172
• Edward’s logic for letting these men live is dumb. Just saying. -pg. 173
• “I’m going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?” She said this like it was a question.
  Thank you, SMeyer. I couldn’t tell there was a question mark there. I really needed it spelled out for me. -pg.175
• If you have to explain your joke it loses all humor. So thank you for explaining your joke, Bella. It might have been funny before. Good job correcting yourself. -pg.175
• “If he’s paralyzed from the neck down, he can’t go to the prom either.”
  So apparently they are both violent psychopaths. -pg.176
• But, instead of finishing the inquiry and pressing the point, Bella just shook her head and half-smiled.
  What did that mean?
  Apparently that she’s pleased that your stalking her. I don’t know why… but she is. -pg.177
• These girls wouldn’t be in any danger if they went straight home. Danger didn’t stalk their every step.
  Helps that Bella has an actual dangerous stalker stalking her every step to protect her from danger stalking her every step… -pg.179
• Maybe I’ll write my number on his plate with ketchup…
  And their waitress is psychotic too. -pg.181
• I don’t think that will happen. I’ve always been very good at repressing unpleasant things,” she answered, a little breathless.
  Bullshit. I call shenanigans! -pg.183
• “That color blue looks lovely with your skin,” I complimented her. Just being honest.
  With your skin? Creepy much? Why not just say it looks lovely on you? Or it looks great with your eyes. Not your skin. Ew. -pg.184
• I’d just admitted to stalking her, and she was smiling.
  Yeah. I don’t get it either. Still want to claim she’s intelligent, Edward? -pg.189
• So let me get this straight. Edward wanted to murder Bella and drink her blood the instant he met her. But this guy Lonnie- wanted… possibly to rape and murder her. And Edward is the better person? Someone please explain this to me. -pg.192
• I love how Bella just accepts all these weird things Edward is confessing. Oh I follow people by their scent. I can read minds. And she doesn’t for once think he’s f-ing crazy. -pg.195
• I started to wonder if she was entirely stable.
  Only just started wondering that, did you Eddie? -pg.201
• Wait. You are concerned that you need to get her checked into an asylum for wanting to be near you, a vampire, but yet you plan on visiting her in said asylum regardless. Edward, I hate to break it to you, but you are a psychopath too. -pg.201
• …there was no denying that my body still yearned towards her for the wrong reason. My mouth was swimming with venom.
  NOT SEXY. Actually that’s a bit nauseating. -pg.202
• Ugh. Smeyer is trying to imply that Bella loves Edward for something besides just his good looks. Nice try. You can’t undo the last four books, honey. -pg.231
• So Edward wants to know everything Bella is thinking but is mad if she thinks things that he doesn’t want her to think… This is a whole new level of controlling that I think only an abusive mind reading boyfriend could achieve. -pg.236
• Edward makes Bella promise him the near impossible promise of not doing anything “dangerous” while he’s gone. But he can’t even keep to the promise of not spying on her? Double standards? -pg.261
• It was a good thing I had this road memorized.
  Okay. But usually there are other cars out on roads, Edward. It doesn’t matter if you’ve memorized that or not. You can’t predict someone backing out of their driveway, unless the guy’s thinking really hard about how he’s backing out of his driveway now. -pg.261